Hidden Struggles: Understanding Postpartum Depression in Men

Meet Bankole, a 34-year-old father of twins. When his wife, Olaide, gave birth to their daughters, there were drums, laughter, and merriment. Bankole, the proud new father, received endless congratulations from friends and relatives. But behind his smiles and nods, Bankole felt different—lost. Days turned into weeks, and he found himself waking up each morning with a heavy heart.

For weeks after his daughters’ birth, Bankole felt disconnected and irritable. He’d snap at his wife and avoid holding his babies. The joy he thought fatherhood would bring never came. Instead, he felt overwhelmed by the endless cries of the baby, the pressure to provide, and Olaide’s growing frustration with his sudden moodiness. How could he explain a sadness he didn’t understand? Or that sometimes, he wanted to leave and not come back?

Bankole didn’t know that fathers, too, could experience postpartum depression. He didn’t know that his feelings weren’t a weakness but something more profound and treatable. “I thought I was just tired,” he said. But as the weeks turned into months, he realised something was wrong.

When we hear the term "postpartum depression" (PPD), we often associate it with women, and for a good reason. Women undergo significant physical, emotional, and hormonal changes during and after pregnancy. However, there’s another group that’s often overlooked when discussing postpartum mental health: fathers. Yes, men can also experience postpartum depression, and it’s more common than you might think.

In Nigeria, where societal expectations for men emphasise strength, stoicism, and being the "provider," it can be even more challenging for fathers to acknowledge and address these feelings. 

But here’s the truth: postpartum depression in men is real, it’s valid, and it’s treatable.

What is Postpartum Depression in Men?

Postpartum depression in men refers to a period of emotional distress, sadness, and psychological imbalance that occurs after the birth of a child. While it’s often associated with women, studies show that up to 10% of new fathers experience PPD, with some studies suggesting even higher rates in low-resource or high-stress environments.

Unlike the typical stress of adjusting to fatherhood, PPD in men can interfere with their ability to bond with their children, support their partners, and function in daily life. Left untreated, it can affect the entire family unit.

Causes and Risk Factors of PPD in Men

Postpartum depression in men doesn’t have a single cause; rather, it results from a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors.

1. Biological Factors:

• Hormonal changes: Men experience hormonal fluctuations after their child’s birth, especially if they are in synchrony with their partners during pregnancy. Testosterone levels may drop, while cortisol (stress hormone) and estradiol (estrogen) can increase. These changes can impact mood and energy levels.

• Sleep deprivation: The erratic sleep schedule that comes with caring for a newborn disrupts the body's natural rhythms, leading to irritability, fatigue, and emotional instability.

• Genetic predisposition: A family history of mental health conditions can increase the likelihood of experiencing PPD.

2. Psychological Factors:

• Identity shift: Transitioning into fatherhood can cause men to question their adequacy as parents, partners, and providers.

• Unrealistic expectations: Many men feel pressure to know how to care for a baby or take on financial burdens alone.

• Mental health history: A pre-existing diagnosis of depression or anxiety increases vulnerability to postpartum depression. Additionally, previous issues with substance use can increase the possibility of PPD.

3. Environmental and Social Factors:

• Marital stress: Changes in the dynamic between partners, lack of intimacy, or unresolved conflicts can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration.

• Childbirth: Experiencing a traumatic birth or having a baby with additional health needs can increase feelings of stress and may lead to mental distress.

• Financial strain: The costs of raising a child and societal expectations to be the breadwinner can heighten stress levels.

• Limited paternal support networks: Men often lack access to support groups or communities where they can share their experiences.

• Cultural stigma: For men, seeking help for emotional distress can be seen as a weakness, further silencing struggling fathers.

Signs and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression in Men

Recognising PPD in men can be challenging because it often presents differently than in women. 

Emotional Symptoms:

• Persistent sadness or a sense of emptiness.

• Increased irritability or feelings of anger.

• Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.

• Guilt or shame about not being a “good enough” father.

Physical Symptoms:

• Chronic fatigue or lack of energy, even after rest.

• Changes in appetite: overeating or a significant loss of appetite.

• Frequent headaches, body aches, or other stress-related physical complaints.

• Sleep disturbances unrelated to the baby’s schedule.

Behavioural Symptoms:

• Withdrawing from family and friends.

• Avoiding responsibilities, including childcare and household tasks.

• Excessive use of alcohol, drugs, or other substances.

• Escapism through work, hobbies, or screen time.

Cognitive Symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.

• Persistent negative thoughts about fatherhood or life in general.

• Thoughts of self-harm or harming others (in extreme cases).

Common Misconceptions About PPD in Men

Some myths that often prevent men from seeking help are:

1. “PPD is only for women”: PPD is commonly associated with women due to the physical and hormonal changes of childbirth, but men experience emotional and hormonal shifts too. The psychological demands of fatherhood can significantly impact mental health.

2. “Feeling stressed as a new father is normal; it will pass.” While stress is expected, prolonged feelings of despair or disconnection are not. It is crucial to recognise the difference between normal adjustment and depression.

3. “Men must toughen up and focus on their family”: Cultural norms often discourage men from seeking emotional support, but ignoring mental health struggles only worsens them.

4. “Only weak men seek therapy”: Seeking help shows strength and commitment to your family’s well-being. Therapy equips fathers with tools to manage stress and build stronger relationships.

Why Nigerian Men Struggle to Seek Help

In Nigeria, societal norms around masculinity often hinder open discussions about mental health. Here are some barriers:

• Stigma: Many men fear being judged or perceived as weak for admitting to emotional struggles.

• Limited access to resources: Mental health services are often expensive or unavailable in many parts of the country.

• Cultural beliefs: Mental health issues are sometimes attributed to spiritual causes, discouraging medical intervention.

• Pressure to perform: Nigerian men are often expected to prioritise financial and family responsibilities over their well-being.

The Impact of PPD on Fathers, Families, and Children

Untreated postpartum depression can have far-reaching consequences:

1. On Fathers:

• Increased risk of chronic depression and anxiety.

• Higher likelihood of developing substance abuse issues.

• Strain on physical health due to chronic stress.

2. On Families:

• Marital conflicts stemming from misunderstandings and emotional distance.

• Lack of emotional support for the mother, who may also be struggling with PPD.

• Disruption of family harmony and shared parenting responsibilities.

3. On Children:

• Research indicates that children of depressed fathers are more likely to experience emotional and behavioural issues.

• A weakened parent-child bond can impact the child’s cognitive and social development.

• Delays in achieving developmental milestones due to lack of positive interaction.

How to Manage and Overcome Postpartum Depression

1. Self-Care Strategies:

• Prioritise sleep: Rotate nighttime duties with your partner or seek help from family members.

• Healthy lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet and engage in regular physical activity.

• Stress management: Practice mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing exercises to manage daily stress.

• Set realistic expectations: Accept that no parent is perfect; focus on doing your best.

2. Strengthen Communication:

• Share your feelings with your partner to foster understanding and teamwork.

• Join a support group to connect with other fathers experiencing similar challenges.

• Open up to trusted friends or family members about your struggles.

3. Seek Professional Help:

• Therapy or medication (in severe cases) may be recommended.

• Parenting workshops: Learn practical strategies to manage fatherhood’s challenges

After speaking with a clinician, Bankole learned he was experiencing PPD. With therapy and support, he reconnected with his family and now describes fatherhood as “a challenging but beautiful journey.”

You Are Not Alone

If you’re a father struggling to adjust to parenthood, remember you are not alone. Postpartum depression is not a sign of weakness, and seeking help is a powerful step toward healing.

At Padua Clinical Services, we provide:

• Clinical assessment, diagnosis, and therapy sessions.

• Tailored support for fathers.

• Practical strategies to help you thrive as a parent.

Take the first step today. Book a session with us and rediscover the joy of fatherhood. Book a session HERE or contact us by email or WhatsApp.

Also, do not forget to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, or X.

Postpartum depression in men is real, treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of. We can break the stigma and support fathers in their parenting journey by raising awareness and fostering open conversations. Remember, seeking help is not just about you; it’s about building a healthier, happier future for your entire family.

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Gentile, S., & Fusco, M. L. (2017). Untreated perinatal paternal depression: Effects on offspring. Psychiatry Research, 252, 325–332. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2017.02.064

Male Postpartum Depression. (2024). Unitypoint.org. https://www.unitypoint.org/news-and-articles/male-postpartum-depression--unitypoint-health?

Mayo Clinic. (2022, November 24). Postpartum depression - symptoms and causes. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

Men Get Postnatal Depression Too — Here’s How to Spot It. (n.d.). ForWhen. https://forwhenhelpline.org.au/parent-resources/male-postnatal-depression/

O’Connor, E. J., Zajac, I. T., Brindal, E., & Kakoschke, N. (2025). Transitioning to fatherhood: Prospective effects of wellbeing on future depression symptoms. Journal of Affective Disorders, 371, 147–155. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2024.10.102

Pérez C., F., Brahm, P., Riquelme, S., Rivera, C., Jaramillo, K., & Eickhorst, A. (2017). Paternal post-partum depression: How has it been assessed? A literature review. Mental Health & Prevention, 7, 28–36. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mhp.2017.07.001

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Yes, Men Do Get Postpartum Depression. (2023). Baptist Health. https://www.baptisthealth.com/blog/family-health/yes-men-do-get-postpartum-depression