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Schedule Your Worry Time

Your brain is NOT Google Chrome. Your brain is juggling 87 open tabs, three traumas, four fake scenarios, and a PhD in overthinking. Yet, none of these are helping. At this point, you are NOT thinking; you’re spiralling. If you can’t stop worrying, SCHEDULE it . Yup. Schedule your worry! I like to use a technique called WORRY TIME for my patients who deal with overthinking, anxiety, and stress. This is a 15–20–minute daily window during which you can sit down and let your brain panic on purpose . During this worrying time, you unleash all those nerve-wracking thoughts. However, outside of that time, you question your intrusive thoughts. Let your thoughts know that your session for worrying is at 7:30 p.m., not when you’re at work. Whenever your brain tries to stress you during the day, drag it back and inform it that the anxiety office is closed until 7:30 pm. Because ruminating and worrying all day doesn’t solve anything; it just fries your nervous system like plantain. You’re not be...
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Grounding Techniques for "God Abeg"

Not every time “God abeg” when life shows you pepper. At some point, you need coping skills. Yes, life is hard. And your mental health is struggling. So, let me teach you how to ground yourself! Do you remember the sense organs you learned about in primary school?  You will be using them in these grounding techniques. So, come, let me teach you. You can use this for anxiety, panic attacks, stress, and other issues. And no, this isn’t a TikTok dance.  It’s a proven, therapist-approved method to draw you out of your head. So learn this and teach your people the 5-4-3-2-1 method . Start with five things you can see . Name them.  Out loud.  Chair. Mirror. Wig on the floor. Stress in your boss’s eyes. Next, four things you can touch . Skin. Shirt. Floor. Your last nerve. Next, three things you can hear : Birds. Fan. Your anxiety whispering, “What if?” Next, two things you can smell : Perfume. Dettol. Air. Your shampoo. Don’t stress it. Finally, one thing you can taste : W...
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It is not well o

  It’s not well o.  It’s not well. Why would Someone pour their heart to you, and you reply, “Awww… it is well.” Are we doing a condolence register? Your friend is crying and breaking down, and all you can say is “Eya, pele baby”? How? Why? See, it’s not every time you should say ‘Pele Baby’.  Let me teach you how to be there for your friend when they break down.  The first thing to do is to listen!   Just listen!   Don’t listen to reply, to judge, or to collect gist.   Don’t engage in trauma olympics by trying to share your own worst day.   Just be quiet and listen to them without judgment, even if you don’t know what to say. After that, the next thing to do is to validate their feelings. Say things like, “That makes sense.” Or, “I’d feel the same way, too.” Or, “I can’t imagine how you must be going through all this alone. You must be so tired.” Let them feel seen and not silenced. Let them feel as though someone finally sees...
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How to use AI to Mirror Supportive Non-Toxic Communication

Some of us grew up in “I said what I said” households, dated “you’re too sensitive” partners, and worked for “we’re like family” bosses who often overlooked safety. Now, we flinch at gentle words, apologise for questions, and second-guess texts. We have become so accustomed to harshness that we forget what softness feels like. But, what if we could retrain our understanding of tone, intent, and safety in communication? This is where AI comes in ; not as your therapist , but as your mirror and practice ground. When trained properly, AI can assist you in relearning how love, care, and healthy boundaries sound. AI isn’t replacing human relationships. It’s not your therapist or best friend. However, when used effectively, AI becomes a mirror for language, a coach for kind yet firm communication, and a sandbox for experimenting with tone, assertiveness, and empathy without shame or judgment. AI can help you redefine “normal” communication, because “I love you” shouldn’t involve manipulation...
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How to Protect Yourself in an Insensitive Space

Some people are emotionally bankrupt by choice. They’re not confused; they’re committed to misunderstanding you. They hear your pain and amplify their opinion. They see you flinch and keep poking. They know you’re bleeding and still demand you explain the wound, as if it’s your fault for not having thicker skin. Sadly, some people are not worth explaining yourself to. Not because you can't explain, but because they lack the honesty to receive it. They mock your pain as “being too sensitive”. Instead of reflecting, they say, “that’s not what I meant”; they debate your lived experiences, treat your triggers as inconveniences, and offer shame rather than empathy. Their actions don’t just hurt you; they fracture something inside you because you gave them a chance, a benefit of the doubt.   When you grow up in families where you’re never heard, only corrected, your silence is misunderstood as disrespect, your boundaries are labelled arrogance, and your tears are labelled manipulati...
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Know Your Mental Health Service Provider

Navigating mental health services can sometimes feel confusing. Many people wonder: Who do I need to see? A psychologist, a clinical psychologist, a therapist, or a psychiatrist? Each plays a unique role in supporting your mental health; understanding these differences is vital to getting the help you need. Here’s a simple breakdown to guide you: 1. Who is a Psychologist? A psychologist is a behavioural scientist trained to understand how people think, feel, and behave. They study human behaviour across varying aspects of life, from clinical to social to evolution and even the legal and justice system. They  typically: Hold a degree in psychology (BSc, MSc, or PhD). Conduct psychological assessments and research, and provide expertise on human behaviour. Work in schools, organisations, research institutions, or private practices. Think of them as scientists who focus on understanding behaviour and offering insights into the mind. 2. Who is a Clinical Psychologist? A clinical psych...
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